Grilled Oxtails

Altering a recipe by Steven Raichlen. I love ox tail. I needed to rescue the sauce, which I had been neglecting and I'd found a package of tail bones in the reduced meats bin. The sauce (now over 7 years old) needed some bright additions and boiling. Put the tails in a pot with a lid, a can of chicken broth, an onion, some garlic, simmered for 90 minutes. While that's happening I get out the sauce, three-quarters of a quart, covered with a layer of olive oil, dump it in another pot, add tamarind paste, enchilada sauce, dregs of red wine, some anchovy paste, an herb bundle and a small onion that was reduced to liquid, with some soy sauce, in the blender. Because of the tamarind paste I stir constantly, bring to a low boil and pasteurize for 30 minutes. Start the grill, just a few chunks of mesquite charcoal, and when it's ready I sear the tails on both ends such that the marrow surfaces are caramelized. The sauce in a puddle around. Sour-dough for sopping. A cucumber drizzled with balsamic. Let the bones rest for 10 minutes, molten marrow is a health risk. I meant to go to town, to deal with the garbage, but I read another Gruber novel, "Valley Of Bones", then read about ox tails most of the afternoon. But the dinner, my god, was so good, heart-stoppingly, that my brio was restored, and I did a single pull-up on the beam that runs through the dining area. I'm sports challenged (not that I'm out of shape, but that I really don't like to compete) and other than walks I don't do much. Firewood, which is a major thing for me and requires physicality; walking the driveway mid-winter with a pack, certainly another. I'm in good shape actually, most wouldn't really chose to live this way, so close to the bone, but I like it. It's very close to real. The sound is actual, and the colors are correct. Almost real. What does that say? What is real? Some dying bats?