What To Think

Life is confusing. Nature of the beast. The Extraction Crew finally shows at noon, finish filling the dumpster, tomorrow another crew arrives to steam clean. I don't get anything done, overseeing what's happening. A thankless chore, but I promised two members of the board, Terry and Chris, that I'd monitor things. In so far as I can. Just on my way out the door for lunch, when the insurance adjustor arrives for inspection. I docent her through the damage. Stress failure analysis. We bandy terms and seem to understand each other. I just want the claim to be settled. Have to stay another night, as all the equipage is still running. It's going to take a month to recover my hearing. They blew a circuit in the basement, I knew this was coming, and I knew that I wouldn't even know what breaker panel the circuit was in. Totally in the dark. These days I carry a flashlight, in a leather holster, on my belt. Beginning to look like a funny cop, with my tool-belt. And I have to trace the chased wiring back to a source. An interesting task, because there are so many branchings, do find it, restore power, but now that circuit has once failed, I look for a way to spread the load. Means running some other cords, and I have a kind of rough schematic in my head, so for a short period of time I actually look like I know what I'm doing. You'd have to say that I did know what I was doing, because I fixed the problem. Sub-text. Let's be clear, we really don't know what's being said, and heaven forbid you just construe. What is said and what is meant. I make a phone call, which I almost never do, to hear a voice I need to remember. Affecting a 'Joe Casual' I can pretend that nothing has happened. Common response is to bury your head in the sand. I've known several hermits, have actually been one myself, so speak with some authority. Diminished by the myriad failures. I can't help but I see things the way I see things. I've trained myself to just observe phenomena, What you do, is your own business, I look at small plants closely. Ships passing in the night. Lay my down pallet on the floor. I don't require much, a small strip of space. I don't want to be compared to anyone, I'd rather be a dismal failure on my own.

Small purple flowers,
covered with snow,
blow away the chaff.