Leaf Fall

Hot, muggy, overcast; enough warm breeze to keep up the early leaf-fall. A red maple out my writing window appears to be dead. It went from sickly green to withered brown leaves in a matter of days. I had a few gallons of drinking water in my truck and I walked over to get them. The dried puddles are imprinted with hundreds of tracks, critters looking for a drink. Even the birds have all gone down to the lake. I'd been staring at the Raven map, "Landforms And Drainages of the United States", for several hours, trying to pin-point some places I had lived, when the rain finally starts. Some sonorous thunder, and I rouse myself to fix a meal before I lose electricity. A few rounds of homemade polenta fried in bacon fat, an egg on toast. I fried a diced potato for a sandwich later. We often used to take a container of fried potatoes with us when we went fishing, a jar of mayo in the cooler with the beer, and a loaf of sliced white bread. With salt and pepper, I enjoy these fold-over sandwiches to this day. A fried bologna and potato sandwich, with sliced onion is as good, in its way, as almost anything. It is September, I forgot to flip the page on my Outhouse Calendar, but it now is an 'e' month and I can eat oysters. I love them raw but I love them best roasted on a grill with a dollop of something, a watercress butter, a marsala infused chicken stock, some minced wild mushrooms in a port sauce. Don't get me started. Easy access is unlimited, solid. Most relationships are destined for failure, look at the odds. You, Melissa, and you Jason, exchange these stupid vows, that mean nothing, in the actual world, and expect that to create a connection. I miss the whole point of these weddings. You'd have to call me a cynic. Watching the wedding rehearsal Friday afternoon I was struck with a deep sense of dread. The words are merely pro forma. Listening to the blues, late at night, where the heartbreak occurs, too many shadows. The light has changed. It's harsh now, and slanted in a way that draws attention to particular detail. The webs of those 'October Spiders' refract some light. I don't understand light completely. But I do know what I see. Leave you with that thought. I have to go. Thunder.