Rain

I wasn't expecting rain, but it wakes me, about three in the morning. Early morning rain is like Mickey Hart, slightly off-beat and always interesting. I wanted to go back to sleep, but just couldn't, something about that staccato rhythm on the roof. Got a whiskey and rolled a smoke, nothing if not a creature of habit. It's so dark outside that nothing is visible, not even your hand in front of your face. So I just pee in one of those large plastic coffee cans that I keep at the back door for nights like this. I do open the door, to smell the cleansed world, a woody vetiver, with notes of rotting flowers. Not unpleasant. I lived with a couple of dancers, one at a time, and I loved the way they smelled when they came home from rehearsal. They'd always want to take a shower and I'd always argue against it. As Napoleon famously wrote to J, "I'll be home in a couple of weeks, don't bathe." We're so disconnected from smell. I tend to stick my nose right into something. It's a force of habit. I understand things better if I can smell them. It's led to some awkward moments. It occurs to me that this rain could turn to snow. Fucking winter for sure. I did get a little more sleep and still made it to work on time. Hauled trash all morning, after the staff meeting, and then two nice surprises after lunch: Kim sent me a new set of bands for my Wrist-Rocket, and Neil sent me an absolutely beautiful volume of Emily, "The Glorious Nothings". After she had done her little sewn books (fascicles) she started using old envelopes for first drafts of things. In this splendid and lovely book, with tons of white space, there are facsimiles, and on the opposite page is a transcription. There's wonderful and cogent text. Exegesis. Looking at all these fragments, in her hand, sends a chill down my spine. Next weekend, note to self, clean the stove pipe, and spend eight hours with this book. I do love primary sources. It's Emily's hand, for god's sake. I don't remember what I did the rest of the afternoon. Made some phone calls, I have to get the broilers up and operational, turn off the AC and put it to bed, I don't know how to do any off that, but I know who to call. My saving grace, I know who to call.