Bitter

One advantage of the cold is that the driveway is frozen solid. Early morning I walk down and get the truck, to empty the wrack firewood, so I can get another load. Get to town in time to pick up some more tomorrow. Only 10 degrees but it's windy, cutting at exposed surfaces. All the wood stations need filling. Bibs over jeans, Duo-fold top, sweatshirt, new jacket (Steph, my costumer) over bibs, muffler, face mask, watchcap. Excellent outfit. Work thirty minutes, read thirty minutes drinking chicken broth. Yesterday I made a very good bean soup, Navy Beans, Great Northerns, with a lot of onions, red peppers, celery, a bag of those ham trimmings. Hearty. I made biscuits, as soon as the stove was hot, so several times today, and then again tonight, I had soup and a biscuit. First frogs are history, I broke through the ice, to check on the couple of egg-sacks, cell walls were ruptured, infant tads were black dots on the bottom. This is natural selection. The birds are all buffed out, like body-builders, they look funny, they don't look happy, and I, on the other hand, am. It's a glorious day of sun, despite the cold and wind, breathing downwind is easy enough, through almost closed lips, so the air is warmed somewhat. Bean note: I was a Navy Bean guy and then moved out west, where the Pinto is king, and I converted, now I've given up religion. Rarely is anything best, a lot of things are very good. Best to keep your options open. For instance, this upcoming Non-Family Reunion, I don't know how many people I'm feeding when, what meals, I have no information. They've bypassed me completely. I feel like that guy, chasing after a car that didn't stop to pick him up, when he was hitch-hiking, in some really awful B movie. I can cook, but I need to know how many and when. There's shopping to be done, specific fires to be built, I need a spreadsheet. I function in this world only because of you, you're my last connection, sever that and I'm adrift; I read Anthony Burgess all day, reviews and essays. He's caustic and correct. There should be more criticism but no one is willing to put their ass on the line. It's easier to give grants to friends, get one in return. The way the system works. Than it is to face reality. I balk at this, there actually is an authentic world, something to hang your hat on. Look outside.