Somewhat Later

I do go on. Hadn't read back over anything in a while, and I was struck with several things. First, primary, is that this person, who seems to be me, enjoys his job. Isolate that and consider the ramifications. Second, that there is an honest attempt to explain whatever it is. Third, whatever shortcomings are laid bare. The language is a bit awkward, because I'm (he is) trying to say something. Syntax is a bitch. Punctuation will be the death of me. Grammar is the train. Listening to Robert Johnson, late, wrapped in the blues, everything is feeling. There is no denying where you're coming from. Oh Jaunita. I'm a simple southern boy, with no aspirations. Really, all I want is some conversation. Are you there? I thought there had been some connection but then the line went blank. Not even white noise, just a hole, a void. I need a clue. It may seem I know where I'm going, but that's not the case. No one ever knows. A mystery wrapped in a paper towel. I marinated the London Broil in papaya nectar (added the nectar to the sauce, and boiled it) blotted it dry, then rubbed a pepper--rosemary--chili rub, left it out, to come to room temp, while I started a fire. Hickory and mesquite charcoal. This one was a little over an inch thick, two pounds. Hot gray fire, I cooked eight minutes thew first side, then seven on the other, tented it on the counter for fifteen minutes, sauce, mashed potatoes, asparagus stir-fry (I really like this dish, caramelized onions and red pepper, garlic, asparagus cut into one inch pieces, the tips thrown in when you pull it off the heat). I just use instant mashed potatoes anymore, they've gotten so damned good. Home Style Reds. The sauce is going through a hot fruity period, fantastically deep in flavor. The soaking in papaya was a great idea. This is the most tender one of those I've done in years. An enzyme in papaya is a natural tenderizer. This marinade (I added fresh ground pepper, hot sauce, some lemon juice, and a dash of balsamic to the nectar) would make a great mother for a sauce. Add a dark beer, some red wine, some tamarind paste, some black-strap molasses, more hot sauce, lots of pepper; boil for a while, to thicken, store in jars in the fridge, either float olive oil on top, or do what I do, add whatever meat drippings, let them rise to the top and seal the jar, break it up and throw that away, before you use the sauce again, the fat gasket. I always serve this on the side, in a gravy boat (in my case, a coffee mug) with a ladle. I no longer sauce any meat while it's cooking. Even a piece of dead cow should have a certain amount of dignity. A great meal, I'm a little sheepish to admit, because I was alone, as usual, but I would have enjoyed sharing this with someone. Conditional, longing, whatever. But Jesus, this was very good, and it's nice to get a compliment once in a while.