Distracted

Coming back home, up the creek, the light is amazing; you can't see anything, really, stuck with a bunch of haloes and auroras. The period of these events is quite short. I stopped at the first ford to roll a cigaret, I couldn't see to drive, and scant minutes later, the road was clear. This time of year, the angle and direction of the driveway, the time of day, everything needs be considered. I constantly adjust my visor, still, what I mostly see is just the light, not the thing that is being lit. Yesterday, driving in, I was completely blinded by the afternoon sun, I had to drive by feel. Yes, my tires are in the ruts, yes I feel safe enough, god forbid a pedestrian. What I mean. I have to drive up the driveway looking down, out the window, to see that my tires are in the ruts. I want to ask some simple questions, but I can't, I'm focused so tightly there isn't room for anything else. I know we agreed to some ground-rules, I don't remember what they were. Something that had to do with whatever I was thinking about. Then today, it's the leaves, falling in patterns around isolated trees. Out here in the forest it's a staggering accumulation of organic matter, inches deep in the ruts of the driveway. On the county roads the black walnuts are a nuisance and damn messy. They oxidize rapidly, the husk does, into a black slimy mess that stains badly. Many dead squirrels in walnut heaven. One fat one (I stop and throw them off the road) was just a head-shot and he was still warm, so I took him home. Skinned and gutted the carcass, cut it into 6 pieces, soaked it in beer, dredged the pieces in a hotly seasoned flour/cornmeal mix and browned them, then into a pan with enough chicken stock to cover. Made simple flour and water dumplings, with some of the same rub, rolled the dough out and cut them quite small. I like small dumplings, I don't like to wrestle with them. I think I first had this meal in Water Valley, Missip, in the late 50's. I tinker with it, but squirrel (a young squirrel) and dumplings, with mashed potatoes, is a great meal. It's hard to mess up, the dredging becomes the thickening agent and dumplings are always a treat. You have to eat the squirrel with your fingers because you're not used to the bone configuration. Maybe you don't but I do. I imagine there are French or Italian country folk that could debone a squirrel in just a couple of minutes, leave you with just a pile of meat, and a thickened gravy, rife with dumplings, mashed potatoes to soak up the overflow. God spare me, that I should be locked into this ring of hell. I like bull-shitting, I'm good at it. There are times my closest friend might blanche. Hey, what are you saying? Look back over the data, it's all there. I have to go to bed, you figure it out.