Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Further Thoughts

You can't balance anything on the head of a pin. I just spent several hours trying and it was a waste of time. I came close with a piece of cigaret ash, but at the last minute, when I might have claimed success, it fell apart. I almost lied about it, for the sake of narrative, but the truth is the experiment failed, and I not only didn't advance my argument, but actually fell behind, that I had thought it was possible to balance anything. Call me a fool, call me a phantom, or the experiment rather. A simple failure. We see this most often in the gloaming at dusk, when the real world fades into shadow. Not unlike today, which I don't remember at all, looked at some pictures, thought about time, and suddenly it's dark, the bugs are playing a high speed drone, heat lightening in the distance. I'm not a player anymore, I want to be distanced and I dance in a very small circle. It doesn't really matter, hang on to that, madder, it's just a dye-stuff, a color we can reproduce. As a player I'm too slight to present a problem, barely have the forearms to pull in a large pot of stew. Like my Mom used to make. Her again. I seem to be saying something.

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