Gearing Up

The gallery is ready, the pedestals are ready, I'm ready, and the show arrives tomorrow, probably right at noon, which is when stuff usually arrives coming from either Cincy or Columbus. We're an equilateral triangle. Dug the large riser out of the basement, and it was in sorry condition. Spent several hours sprucing it up and it looks great with a new coat of semi-gloss Gallery White. The black toner cartridge went dry in one of the printers, so I walked over to the office supply for a replacement (a single one was $124.99 and a double pack was $179.99, so I saved $75), then Mark and I installed it, but the machine rejected it. Walked back to the office supply with cartridge. They have one of the same printers, and it worked fine there. The guy told me to unplug ours, wait a minute, and plug it back it, and that it would reboot and probably be fine. It was. The Art Camp kids drive me crazy at their pick-up time, four o'clock, and I have to hole-up in my office, realized I hadn't sat down all day. Went and got an iced coffee (actually a slurpy) at Tim Hortons, came back and read an essay about Grant Wood. I could put together a world class show with Carter and Wood. Similar sensibilities. Sara and I should do this, it would have legs, I'd bet we could sell it to half a dozen museums. I'm looking forward to installing a major show with Charlotte. She has a quirky streak, and she has no idea how good I am at supplying quirky demands. Jerry built and jury-rigged is my middle name, a long one, I'll grant, but I actually thrive on the impossible. I've built three or four staircases that defy logic, it's always the materials that make it possible. I blew up at Kroger today. I've been buying protein drinks for a while now, because they're buy one, get one free, and that makes them cheaper than I can make them at home, and it's very convenient, 25 grams of protein, all the B vitamins, 200 calories; and when I check out it charges me for both of them. I tell the lady at the self-check, that it's a mistake, and she sends a bag-person over to check, he comes back and says it's only for the gluten-free, and I say, NO,NO,NO, it's a soy protein drink and I've read the label, and of course there is no fucking gluten. Warming to my argument, I point out that the two protein drinks I'm attempting to buy are sitting on a shelf above a sign that says Buy One Get One Free, Choc Soy Monster Protein, and the label says Choc Soy Monster Protein, but it doesn't actually say gluten-free. That would be like a bottle of water saying gluten free. I'm so livid, there are flames coming out my ears, but they won't admit they've made a mistake. I finally talk to an assistant manager, the manager is at a conference in Aspen, and he says that it doesn't actually say gluten free, I tell him to take his Choc Soy Monster Protein drinks and shove them where the sun doesn't shine, and that, further, his endive is wilted and I suspect his artichokes are from Chile. It's too late to placate me, I'm on a rant. Don't promise me something you can't deliver. I'm just short of making a scene. I don't like being jerked around. The whole drive home I seize thinking about how stupid people can be. Not me, of course, I reason rationally. I can't believe those motherfuckers are so stupid.