Reaching

Life's not perfect but it's a start. Not a bad mode, just that sometimes you have to plow through the mud. The party cleanup lasts all day. The bathrooms, hauling trash (four trips and still one to go), the kitchen, and the floors. Putting away tables and chairs. Daunting. I get everything done but mopping in the main gallery. The wedding cake was awful and it was all over the place, frosting hardened in the tile grout joints. I had to get down on hands and knees and scrape it with a knife. You can't sweep round candy and loose fake pearls, and I picked up a lot of both. Loose fake pearls as a table decoration was a bad idea. Round candy was a bad idea, hell, candy was a bad idea. Having the bar upstairs was a bad idea. People place so much stock in ceremony, to remember a moment always; if that's all you have to remember I submit you've lived a very boring life. I've had a thousand moments, in the natural world, that far exceeded anything I might plan. Currently, I'm of two minds, the ability to do something, as opposed to the actual desire. I've worked opera at the absolute highest international level, so my ability is not the issue; the issue is whether or not I'm willing to sacrifice my time, that I might spend reading or writing, dealing with a bunch of drunks and mopping the floor. It's a real question. I love the museum, and I love installing shows, but I'm sick unto death of carrying heavy things from one place to another. These wedding receptions are more than a pain in the ass. They embody everything I rail against. The bride is an arrogant twit, and she works in a tanning salon. She hasn't read a book in the last five years, and the last one she did read was about vampires. I don't care, but it does give me pause. I'd rather retire from all that and live in a hole in the ground. I have friends that would check in, once in a while, make sure I was still breathing. I can live on almost nothing. I've learned to slow my heart-beat down and only breathe occasionally, less is better; Whip-O-Wills seem particularly germane, the way they drop vowels. French is my first thought, all those extra letters. Nothing enunciated. Bottom line, I don't need this.