Sleep Patterns

The wind is still roaring in the tree tops, but the power came back on and woke me. If it's dark, and I'm tired, I just sleep on the sofa for a few hours, and when something wakes me, it takes me a minute to get my act together. Silence wakes me as often as anything. When the wind has been blowing for 24 hours and suddenly stops, the negative sound is very loud. Then you have your packs of dogs. And since it's been such a brutal winter, none of the animals have much to eat, so there's an almost nightly bickering at the compost heap. It matters less to me now that I don't have to be somewhere at a particular time, and I've just been letting the cycles roll, without paying much attention. If the power comes back on that means I can write, and if the phone is working, that means I can send. Keep it simple. It's interesting that I already have several job offers and I'm not looking for a job. I need to write my way out of a corner, and that's going to take my best shot, for at least a year. I need to be outside, a few hours a day, hauling wood and maintaining the estate; I need to cook and eat, go to the library, stay reasonably presentable. I could work for someone, maybe a day or two a week, if they took me at face value. The new paradigm is that I don't have to justify anything, or myself. I have work to do, and it doesn't so much matter what anyone else thinks about it. I just went back and took out three commas, and I'm hyper-ventilating. Meaning is a matter of the moment. There's no escaping that. Harvey used to bullshit about it, before he took his life, and he came down hard on just doing whatever it was. And I've pretty much done that, though I might not have been completely honest. Life is tricky. Sometimes you lie. Even if everything is working, you might ply the truth, if there is such a thing, in a certain direction. To my great delight, I add a couple of commas, I'm almost back to zero. It's a game I play.